Deer Santa Claws
Hello my name is Oliver I am very pleased to meet yoo.
When yoo come down the chimney can yoo please make sure yoo come down the right one: three chimneys have been blocked by chimney balloons so yoo won’t be able to get in. Do yoo know the chimney in the speshull red room where my favourite chair is? That is the one to come down. Anyway, I think yoo have been coming to this howse since 1880 so yoo should know what you’re doing. We can leave yoo sammin, choona or cat crunchies to have a snack on, whichever yoo prefer. Scott asks that yoor reindeer be careful on the slate roof.
Anyway here is our Christmouse list. By the way, Scott and Mark say that I have been the best behaved of the three of us – my two sisfurs are sometimes NORTY (espeshully Ruby). Ruby spends too much time balancing on the banister, shutting herself in rooms, walking on the kitchen bench and playing wif the coffee machine. Rose copies Ruby and steals handkerchiefs and scarves and rummages in female guests handbags. I have spent all year bringing mouseys and being a good boy and a patient bruvfur to my sisfurs.
Please may I have a noo toy mousey. I would also like evfurrybody in the world to be happy like me. Give them lots of tummy rubs and time to be upside down.
Ruby would like a book called What Bird is That?, a slingshot and a chemistry set. She has already read enough early feminist material so yoo don’t need to give her any more Simone de Beauvoir. She says she’s now into second-wave feminism and would like to read some Kate Millett, Betty Friedan and Shulamith Firestone.
Rose would like a noo hairbrush and a manicure and pedicure. She also wants crinkle balls and pom pom balls to play wif as those are her favourites. And jewellery, preferably diamonds.
Anyway, we hope yoo don’t get too stressed owt wif all yoor travels. Merry Christmouse to yoo!
Lots of love from